In those days I was pursued by nostalgia. I always had been, and I didn’t know how to free myself so I could live in peace. I still haven’t learned and I suspect I never will, but at least I do know something worthwhile now. Its impossible to free myself from nostalgia because its impossible to be free from memory. Its impossible to be free from what you have loved. All of that will always be a part of you; the yearning to relive the good will always be as strong as the yearning to forget and destroy memories of the bad, erase the evil you’ve done, obliterate the memory of people who have harmed you, eliminate the disappointments and your times of unhappiness. Its entirely human then to be engulfed in nostalgia, and the only solution is to learn to live with it. Maybe if we’re lucky, nostalgia can be transformed from something sad and depressing into a little spark that sends us onto something new: to the arms of a new lover, a new city, a new era which no matter whether its better or worse.. will be different. And thats all we can ask each day: not to squander our lives in loneliness, to find someone, to lose ourselves a little, to escape routine, to enjoy our piece of the party.
My Heart to Joy Final Show, May 14, 2011